Most of us grow up into adulthood thinking that marriage is the prized ticket to peace, love, and lifelong stability – to live happily ever after. You imagine companionship. Love. Intimacy. Emotional warmth. A partner who stands beside you in your darkest days as life unfolds. But sometimes, the truth is actually the exact opposite.
The Marriage Delusion
Before marriage, many people living the single life believe it’s the answer to loneliness or a way to escape monotony or chaos.
You’re told:
- “It will settle you in your life.”
- “It completes who you are.”
- “Without it, you’re going to miss the goodie goodies.”
But the truth is:
- Marriage can steal the peace you had as a single person.
- It can bring in manipulation and all kinds of being taken for granted.
- And sometimes, it becomes less about love—and more about how much you earn and what you can offer or sacrifice.
The Business Deal Called Marriage
There are people who vanish from your life during your toughest years. But as soon as they find out you’ve built something out of your life—some stability—they suddenly reappear. Not with love. Not with compassion. But with all kinds of expectations. Never-ending demands. And guilt-tripping. Marriage becomes the gateway to whatever you or your ancestors had built out of hard work, not your heart. You’re constantly pestered to invest in stuff or activities you normally wouldn’t care about or like, for people who never give a damn about you—all while sacrificing your precious inner peace.
Society’s Pressure Is Real
If you’re nearing 30, you’ve probably heard things like:
- “After 30, no one will marry you.”
- “People will think you have some physical or psychological problem.”
- “You’ll live and die alone in old age.”
This fear is used as a weapon—to push you into marriage before you truly understand yourself or the person you’re marrying. The truth is, almost all people are alone when they near death or in their sickness, because even the so-called “loved ones” become distant in such dark times. This is the truth—the truth every soul was born on this earth to learn before leaving. But let’s be clear. Being alone at the end of your life is not worse than being emotionally drained throughout your life—the one and only life that is quickly ticking toward our grave.
What Peace Actually Looks Like
Peace isn’t found in a ritual like marriage. It’s found when you have the freedom to:
- Spend time on activities and hobbies that fulfil you
- Say “no” without feeling guilt
- Not live life performing nonstop “LIVE” performances and drama for society to make others happy
- Breathe freely without being the target of all the emotional debt aimed at you
Some get married to find peace. Some get out of marriage to find peace. It all depends on how the marriage actually happened or came about.
For Anyone Considering Marriage…
Take time to think. Know who you are first. Next, understand your potential partner—mentally and emotionally—and check if there is real magnetism between the two of you. Don’t rush just because you want to please your parents, society, or God to feel better. Compatibility is not an optional thing. It’s what decides whether your marriage brings peace or takes it away. Because when compatibility is missing, you won’t just miss a relationship… You might miss your own identity of who you actually are.
Final Words
Marriage isn’t a cure for any disease. It’s not a trophy to be earned after playing heavy games or fighting battles.
It’s just a personal choice. And as a human with common sense, you have every right to say no to it. If you’re being pushed into marriage, remember: You are not less of a woman, man, or human being just because you prioritized peace over the need to please a society that has been progressively growing more insane over recent centuries.
Disclaimer:
While this blog discusses the negative aspects of marriage, it’s important to note that, in some cases, marriage can turn out to be a lovable nuisance, a necessary evil. Just as evil works in mysterious ways, so does God, and so does marriage. If you find the right person, there’s truly nothing like it. After all, every story has its nuances, and both marriage and single life are full of unpredictable twists and turns. All I can say is nothing is for sure, man.
Image Credit: Sandy Millar via Unsplash
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